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EmotionLoss: If I still had feelings, I’m pretty sure I would be alarmed

COMPANY: EmotionLoss Theatre

Kristel Harder: Performer, Musician, Co-Creator
Lancelot Knight: Performer, Musician, Co-Creator
Amanda Trapp: Musical Arrangements     
Melanie Doerr: Script Consultation

FROM: Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada

ADDITIONAL THANKS TO:                         
SK Arts: for awarding Kristel a grant that allowed her to safely develop EmotionLoss 
Cornerstone Theatre
Mitchell Larsen, Andrew Taylor, & Nathan Yaworski, for producing and performing the first full iteration of the show

The Show

“EmotionLoss: If I still had feelings I’m pretty sure I would be alarmed” first developed out of doing my due diligence reading the side effects of a new antidepressant and anti-anxiety medication that I had been prescribed. I remember laughing in that sort of semi hysterical way as I read that I might be trading in my urinary function, short term memory and even literal consciousness for the chance to live anxiety and depression free… ish. I thought: do other people know this? That this is our best option for these diseases? I performed the first ten minutes of what would later become EmotionLoss at a variety show in London, still suffocating under the weight of depression and now in a medicated drunk-like stupor. I forgot most of the words and I couldn’t, for the life of me, find a twist at the end of the show to give the audience a bit of hope to leave with. In the end, bleary eyed, I ended the set halfheartedly advocating for taking the meds regardless of the incontinence, newly grown body hair and complete loss of physical or emotional sensation.
Over the years, however, it has become a larger exploration of the experience of my mental health journey. Using storytelling and song, EmotionLoss takes a bold look at the crass, the ridiculous, the beautiful, the surprising, the painful, and the occasionally hilarious intricacies of navigating life with a mental illness.

Audience: Mature Audiences Only
Genre/Style: Storytelling Cabaret
Warnings: Suicidal Ideation
Duration: 40 minutes
When? 7:00pm, June 30, August 2, 5, & 8
Where? On your lawn!
Click here to view the full festival program

Get to know the cast & crew

Kristel Harder is a queer, Saskatchewan based actor, singer, musician, voice teacher and casual playwright. She holds her Masters in Musical Theatre Performance from the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland, and is an alumnus of MacEwan University’s Theatre Arts program and the University of Alberta’s Bachelor of Music, Voice Performance program. 
Kristel experiences the world partially through the lenses of PTSD, anxiety, EID, ADD, OCD and depression. She feels that these diseases simultaneously shape, impair and inspire her. She aims to make art that walks the line between painful and hilarious, beautiful and crass and that allows space for herself and her audiences to be vulnerable and seen. She is so thankful to have the opportunity to perform EmotionLoss, as part of the 25th Street Theatre’s first This is NOT that festival
Recent credits include: I Lost my Husband (Persephone Theatre), The Penelopiad (FerrePlay Theatre), As you like it (Shakespeare on the Saskatchewan), Comedy of Errors (Shakespeare on the Saskatchewan), Fiddler on the Roof (Persephone Theatre) and Queen Seraphina and the Land of Vertebraate (Sum Theatre) Other devised works include: Certain Times: A mid apocalyptic cabaret, and Darling Ghost Forest.
Kristel acknowledges that she is living and working on Treaty 6 territory, home to the Cree and the traditional homeland of the Metis. She acknowledges that the settlers of Turtle Island, of whom she is a part, have consistently violated the Treaties they signed, and have significantly damaged the communities and lands that were here before them.

Lancelot Knight is a singer-songwriter. He has toured throughout Europe, New Zealand, and across North America. Spanning genres and all forms of artistry, He also plays guitar for his father’s band Chester Knight and the wind, and was nominated for a Juno, through the guitar work created on Joey Stylez album “The Blackstar”. He also plays guitar on the upcoming Tomson Highway Musical, Lynx Lamour goes to Nashville! Lancelot Knight Recently co-created, composed the music for the play Reasonable Doubt which sold out the Persephone Theatre. Lancelot Knight is currently working on a solo album.

Amanda Trapp (she/her) is a settler and Cree and Saulteaux artist, member of the White Bear Band, who calls Saskatoon home. Recent credits include: The Invisible: Agents of Ungentlemanly Warfare, Catalyst Theatre; The Fourth Wiseman, Dancing Sky Theatre, I Lost My Husband, Persephone Theatre,The Young Ones, Sum Theatre; Elemental, Live Five Theatre. Amanda is an instrumentalist and composer, and last fall composed the score for Ferre Play Theatre’s production of The Penelopiad. Since the pandemic started, she’s been busy with naps, video games, scrolling Tik Tok, and eating various kinds of cheese. Thanks to Kristel and the Fringe for giving her purpose again!